my current mentality is “im sad and i hate myself but i have to get good grades”
this just explained my entire life at this very moment
for me there are two kinds of sadness:
the sadness that comes from over thinking. the intense sadness that is far too often the cause of long nights and not enough sleep. the sadness that physically hurts and tightens my chest.
and then theres the sadness thats almost melancholy. a sadness that comes with the loss of a loved one, or a dreary day in april when the rain wont seem to stop. a sadness that leaves you feeling empty and without purpose.
i haven’t quite decided which i despise more
In grade 8 I really hated this girl so I collected the sugar from my pack of sour patch kids and gave it to her saying its cocaine and she actually snorted it and at recess she pretended she was high and she was called crack whore for the rest of the year. Now she does real crack and blames me saying I got her addicted. She still doesnt know it was just sugar